


Honeytongue

by wiccawiccan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Abusive Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Angst, Dave Strider Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Karkat Is An Artist, Karkat Vantas ALSO has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, because idk who the fuck i ship with who, chapters with sensitive content will have warnings, dave is a "writer", davekat - Freeform, i havent decided, its hard. being a kid and growing up and nobody understands., kinda making it up as i go here, might update the relationship tags later if i can, or who is even going to be relevant to the story honestly, possible self harm mention, rosemary, slow burn??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:36:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21550162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wiccawiccan/pseuds/wiccawiccan
Summary: Dave Strider is Not A Homosexual, not at all, because that would be Uncool and Striders are always Cool. Karkat Vantas is a struggling artist refugee who is just trying his hardest to not be hated and to mourn the destruction of his home planet. Rose Lalonde gets involved, gives a young man a dare, and ends up setting him forward to a relationship of a lifetime.P.S.: every chapter is named after a quote from said chapter.DAVEKAT CENTRIC FIC
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. you already know my shit is packed tight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternian Title: WHEREIN A HUMAN IS GIVEN A DARE TO DO SOME WRITING AND DISCOVERS A RED ROM INTEREST TROLL WHO IS AN ARTIST THAT IS DRAWING THE HUMAN ALL THE WHILE THE HUMAN IS WRITING ABOUT THE TROLL.
> 
> some tense editing happening as of 1/15/20. so like, if you haven't read this yet good job u get a better first experience than everyone else. im so proud. i promise this fic isn't as cliche as it looks. im workin on it.

“Damn it, Rose,” Dave muttered to himself. After spewing years of sick rhymes to his cousin (who is practically his sister), she’s dared him to try something outside of his comfort zone: creative writing. Since it had always been a talent of hers, she thought she would “challenge” him to try to “make something meaningful.” Not that he wouldn’t be fucking baller at this like everything else he does, but it wasn’t something he was exactly looking forward to. It wasn’t like she pressured him into a deadline, but she did want him to start today. Dave secretly hoped he had magically woken up at 4:30 in the morning so he could roll back over and get a few more hours of sleep. The red numbers next to his bed screamed at him, “6:32.” Oh well.

He placed his feet onto the cold floor and shivered, and grabbed a fresh set of clothes for a morning shower. Steam filled the room with the scent of vanilla-scented shampoo and green apple scented body wash. Bright red eyes met a steam covered reflection in the mirror. He pulled his lanky pale arms through the long sleeves of his shirt and prepared to leave the house. Got to get some morning coffee before the whole writing endeavor begins. 

“Keys, shades, phone, earbuds, and the laptop is in the bag. Ready as hell.” He placed his hand on the doorknob, noticing the cracks in his black nail polish. He’ll find time to fix them later, but now he’s got to get out of the house before his bro notices he’s awake. 

The smell of coffee and pastries filled the air as Dave entered Honeytongue, the same coffee shop he’d gone to for the past year and a half now. “7:02, right on time.” He’s not going to arrive exactly at open, that’d be a dick move and Strider doesn’t fuck with dick moves. An iced vanilla latte and apple scone later, he took his regular seat, opened up his laptop, and placed his hands on the keyboard. He just realized he has absolutely no clue what he’s doing or what to even write about. Not like he would admit that to Rose. His gaze drifts to the dark-haired boy sitting across the shop from him. Another regular, for the past few months, always here straight in the morning (before Dave) and gone a few minutes before Dave leaves. Nothing he’s ever quite noticed before however. Now, though, he began to actually look at him. 

Pointed teeth. Messy hair. Yellowed eyes. Gray skin. Hands covered in red and white paint, surrounded by paintbrushes and pencils. A troll and an artist, Dave assumes. So perceptive isn’t he? Well, now he has discovered that he has something to write about. He started to wonder about the other boy. His name, what he’s drawing, things like that. Not like he could go up and approach him to ask, he’s clearly too focused on whatever it is he’s working on. But Dave could always speculate, and now is as good of a time as any. Something to write about. So Dave started to write and write about the other boy, making assumptions where he could. He momentarily wrote about being commissioned to paint furry porn but backed away from the idea knowing that Rose would find that less than amusing, or begin speculating that Dave himself was a furry since she considers herself as queen psychoanalyst at this point. The idea of that is beyond uncool, so he doesn’t. Instead, he took it (somewhat) seriously for the first time in his life. 

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

TT: Hello, Dave.   
TG: sup rose   
TT: Have you begun working on your piece any?   
TG: you already know it cuz   
TG: i’ve been fucking this shit up, writing fucking masterpieces up in this bitch making everything absolutely beautiful and shit   
TT: I am pleased to see you have risen to the occasion.   
TT: That is, unless, you are using sarcasm, but I would assume nothing less from you. I do hope you are taking this seriously. It would be wrong of you to sabotage the bet like this.   
TG: how could you doubt me like that rose?   
TG: thats just about the saddest thing i ever heard get said   
TG: my own cousin doubting me like this. the ultimate betrayal   
TT: My apologies, Dave, at times I worry you would think yourself “too cool” to engage in borderline scholarly levels of writing. What are you writing about then?   
TG: sorry dog, no spoilers   
TG: cant be out here ruining my creative genius.   
TT: Not even a hint as to the characters in this story of yours Dave? Can you not please your cousin by giving her the smallest summary of characters or plotline?   
TG: fine rose   
TG: theres this troll dude in it, and hes doin all this art   
TG: all this fancy shit   
TG: you cant know its a secret rose.   
TT: I guess I will be left forever pondering the excellence of Dave Strider and his collective works. I have to go, I will leave you to your creative journey. 

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

A few more days progress, and Dave is still writing about this artist he sees every day. It’s been nice to not be forced to spend time in the apartment. Instead, he can focus on what seems to be important: this troll. He’s started to notice more things about him. How his teeth poke out through his lips when he’s focused, or the muttering of swears as he quickly picks up an eraser. How he brushes off the flakes of eraser that get stuck to his sweater. Without realizing it, Dave reached almost 2,000 words. He’s almost done with his piece for Rose, and almost considers prolonging the experience. He doesn’t want to stop thinking about him, writing about him. It makes him nervous in the most delightful of ways. But, he’s starting to worry he’s been caught, as he’s noticed twice that the boy has looked over at him today. Not like he could particularly tell that Dave has been looking at him. Even though he wears them ironically, he'd be stupid refuse to ignore how helpful his shades have been in the event of staring at another person for an extended period of time. 

ectoBiologist [EG] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

EG: hi dave!!!   
TG: sup egbert   
EG: just seeing how my palhoncho is doing!   
TG: absolutely fuckin excellent bro   
TG: fucking winning life out here   
TG: makin absolute masterpieces of my life   
EG: are you talking about the thing rose is having you write?  
TG: she told you about that?  
TG: cant a man get his totally ironic writing on in peace  
TG: everybody all up in the strider goodness   
EG: i just can’t help myself you’re just too irresistible!!  
EG: jk haha!! oh man, got you kinda worked up there didn’t i?  
TG: worked up?   
TG: impossible   
TG: i am just so fuckin cool dog  
EG: i know dave! i’m just messing with you. what are you even writing about?  
TG: a fuckin magical story bro   
TG: all about this fuckin troll  
EG: really? i met this troll girl the other day, she was super weird. but its not like i can judge! they’re all practically refugees, it’s got to be more of a culture shock for them than it is for us.  
EG: i don’t even know what really happened with them. i just know that they kinda showed up one day. their whole like planet was destroyed? i haven’t gotten a chance to talk to any of them about it though.  
EG: they all seem closed off about the whole thing.   
TG: i mean wouldnt you be   
TG: your entire life is like fuckin gone   
TG: can’t go home to the wife n kids   
TG: so you just gotta fuckin go to this entirely new fuckin place   
TG: and hope whatever the fuck is chillin on this planet won’t fuckin kill whats left of your entire species without hesitation   
EG: gosh dave! that’s a lot more than i was even thinking of. i guess it’s gotta be pretty hard for them.  
EG: but i gotta go! i’ll talk to you later dave!  


ectoBiologist [EG] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

Dave finally finished up his writing for Rose. It’s been 5 days of spending most of his time at this coffee shop, hoping that the troll shows up so he can get more inspiration. He was there, though, every day for Dave to look at.  not in a gay way or anything  Talking to him today is as good of a time as any, he guessed. Might as well ask him for his name. He packs up his laptop and grabs his drink. In a slightly nervous blunder, he failed to notice the boy rise from his spot as Dave approached and they collide. Dave’s drink going down his front, and the boy’s loose sketchbook pages scattering across the floor. In a moment of shock, Dave looks down and finds all of these pages are assorted drawings and paintings of him. 

“Oh fuck, I’m so fucking sorry.” The boy says while scrambling to grab his drawings up from the floor. He folded his arms over the sketchbook and clung it tightly to his chest. “Oh no, fuck. I didn’t even- your drink. Fuck, let me help you.” Dave stood starstruck as the boy grabbed more than enough napkins from the counter and returns, wiping the coffee off of Dave’s chest. Snapping out of his trance from being touched, he began to help in grabbing more napkins out of the boy’s hands and wiping himself off. He chuckled nervously. 

“What is it?” The boy asked. 

“Oh god, you’re fine, dog. I just, gosh, I came over here to ask your name and I ran into you and now you’re just apologizing for me being reckless and scattering your art all over the floor.” 

“No, it was totally me, I saw you coming. I just didn’t realize you’d come over here exactly when I’d start fucking walking and expose all of my shit fucking everywhere.” 

“I really dig your drawings though dude, but that might come off as a bit biased considering who they’re of, but then again I guess maybe someone else would be more nit-picky with drawings of themselves.”

A red blush bloomed across the shorter boy’s cheeks. “Fuck, I-” but he is interrupted. 

“Don’t worry about it… Oh shit, I still don’t know your name.” 

“You first.”

“The people call me Dave.”

“My name is Karkat.”

“Don’t worry about it Karkat. It’s not a big deal. I get how that artist’s brain works. You see someone as baller as me and you can’t help but get those juices going. It’s no worry.” He acts as if he didn’t spend days writing absolute fuck about Karkat. Some big balls he’s got there. 

“No, you don’t have to be a complete fuck about it. It’s just, I wanted to-” 

“Don’t worry about it Karkitty, ain’t a problem to me. Keep it cool.” 

“Did you just call me Karkitty?” 

“Yeah I did, bro. Look, I don’t want to make this more awkward for the either of us-”

“Okay, asshat, how is this any fucking awkward for you?”

Dave paused. He just realized that Karkat has no idea that he’s been writing a silly story about him for almost a week. It’s just been Karkat’s fucking impeccable drawings of Dave, nothing else. Dave won’t expose himself, however, so he plays it cool. 

“Look, if you would’ve wanted me to model for you, you should’ve just asked. You should give me your chum handle in case you ever need a hot bod to doodle.” 

“Are all humans as self-obsessed as you are?”

“Probably not, but is it working?”

“Fucking what? Fine. My ‘chum handle’ is carcinoGeneticist. I guess you can pester me.”

“Sweet. I’ll be looking forward to it.” Dave winks, which elicits a scoff from Karkat as he exists the Honeytongue. 

turntechGodhead[TG] began pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: rose   
TG: rose   
TG: rose answer me   
TG: come on bro   
TT: Dave. How impatient of you. I go three minutes without responding to you. I was busy engaging in conversation with a troll. What is so pressing?  


turntechGodhead[TG] sent file [creativewritingshit.docx] to tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: i did it   
TG: the deed is done   
TT: Dave, I am impressed.   
TT: I did not think you would actually deliver on this  
TG: cant leave the fans disappointed lalonde  
TG: i got all up in this bitch  
TG: wrote every nook and cranny of this bitch   
TT: Do you know the troll that you wrote about in this? The details are impeccable Dave. I have to admit that I did not expect this quality of work from you.   
TG: doubtin me rose  
TG: i gotta say   
TG: im kinda hurt   
TT: I am sorry to have hurt your ego. I did not realize it was so fragile.   
TG: rose cmon   
TG: nothin but jokes over here   
TG: you already know my shit is packed tight   
TG: nothin can fuckin faze me  
TG: but yeah i do know him   
TG: well i mean i didnt know him when i wrote it   
TG: but i do now   
TG: ill let you read my fucking amazing work of god in the meantime   
TG: ttyl rose   


turntechGodhead[TG] ceased pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT]

Dave plopped down onto his mattress laying on top of his comforter to ensure a quick time reaction if Bro were to walk in and start a strife. He’d been very careful about his level of comfort, ensuring that he doesn’t get too settled in. He didn’t want to think about that right now, however, there was one thing that he did want to think about. That thing being Karkat. He didn’t want to come off as annoying, but he also didn’t want to leave the dude hanging waiting all night for a response from the hottest man in the galaxy. Since he was mainly going to Honeytongue to write these past few days (they asked him to stop recording music in the shop, Dave understood why) he wanted to make sure Karkat wasn’t going to miss him any. Totally. He took his iPhone out of his pocket and added a new contact. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: hey its dave   
TG: from honeytongue   
TG: you likely remember me as the sexy motherfucker youve been fawning over the past couple of days   
TG: the guy takin up all the pages in your sketchbook   
CG: FUCK YOU ARE LUCKY I CAN NEVER GET ANY FUCKING SLEEP.   
CG: MESSAGING ME AT AN HOUR AS FUCKING LATE AS THIS.   
TG: bro whats up with all the caps  
TG: gettin all up on me about messaging you all late when youre over here yellin at me   
CG: AM I THE FIRST TROLL YOU’VE EVER SPOKEN TO?  
TG: yeah bro   
TG: but to be honest i only really talk to like three other people   
TG: which makes you special karkitty   
TG: but that still doesnt answer the question about the caps   
CG: TROLLS TYPICALLY HAVE SOME TYPE OF TYPING QUIRK.   
CG: I GUESS IT’S A “CULTURAL” THING. SOLLUX TYPES WITH A READABLE LISP AND NUMBERS. MOST OF US HAVE SOMETHING TO SET OURSELVES OUT. I GUESS IN HUMAN TERMS I’M PROBABLY THE MOST EASILY UNDERSTOOD OUT OF MY ENTIRE GROUP.   
TG: thats pretty cool man ngl   
TG: anyway i was gonna ask you if you were going to get coffee tomorrow   
TG: because i was mainly going for inspiration for this writing thing my friend dared me to do and now that its done   
TG: i might not be back there for like a week   
TG: but if you were going ill go   
TG: dont wanna leave a dude without his muse you know?   
CG: DAVE. I WILL BE THERE TOMORROW. WHAT IS THIS ‘MUSE’ THING THAT YOU’RE SAYING THAT I HAVE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.   
TG: oh man you dont know what a muse is?   
TG: a muse is like someones inspiration to do something like creative   
TG: like somethin that just makes you want to create art for some goddamn reason that you cant really explain   
CG: I MEAN, I WOULD NOT BE OPPOSED TO SEEING YOU THERE TOMORROW, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE IMPLYING.   
CG: I’LL PAY FOR YOUR COFFEE TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT I SPILLED ALL OVER YOU EARLIER. BUT SINCE YOU SAID IT WAS YOUR FAULT I GUESS YOU’LL HAVE TO LET ME DRAW YOU MORE SINCE YOU GOT YOUR FUCKING COFFEE ALL OVER SOME REALLY GOOD PIECES.   
TG: alright man   
TG: its a date then   
\--  turntechGodhead [TG]  is now an idle chum! --  
CG: A FUCKING WHAT NOW?   


carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> formatting all of those pesterlogs nearly made me kill myself. i guess the first chapter can be read as a oneshot so i guess if i never update this again (doubtful) y'all will have some kind of fucking ending.


	2. i am failing to see the problem, but then again i can't see anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> karkat centric thing where hes just fuckin panicking because dave 'hit on him' and hes got that classic obsessed with romance shit going on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got kinda pesterlog happy, but i really hope that if you're reading this you're enjoying it! 
> 
> [ps: this was edited and posted and partially writted by Drunk!Me]
> 
> [p.p.s.: as of 12.5.19 this will be re-edited by TotallySoberMe. fixed a few grammatical errors!]
> 
> [p.p.p.s.: as of 1.15.20 this is re-edited by me again. fixing some tense issues. oops, pobody's nerfect or whatever.]

CG: A FUCKING WHAT NOW?   


carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] 

Karkat sat back on the couch in his “government-provided housing” and sighed. He did not care to know what that means. He tried his hardest to ignore the demise of Alternia and the current issues humans have with trolls existence. Something about “foreigners stealing our tax dollars.” Although human life is a lot less violent than life on Alternia, it sure is different in its respects to violence. The main thing that bothered Karkat is their differences in romance.  WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DON’T HAVE QUADRANTS? HOW DO THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WORK LIKE THIS? Especially now, with the proposition of a human “date” with someone he’d just met. He decided to ask a confidant about this.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering  twinArmageddons [TA] 

CG: SOLLUX.   
CG: I HAVE A QUESTION.  
TA: what ii2 iit kk?   
CG: LONG STORY FUCKING SHORT, I MET A HUMAN.   
CG: I’VE BEEN DRAWING HIM FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS AND HE CAUGHT ME AND NOW I’M SEEING HIM TOMORROW AT HONEYTONGUE TO DRAW HIM MORE TOMORROW.  
TA: that ii2nt a que2tiion kk. what ii2 the problem.   
CG: THE PROBLEM IS HE SAID, AND I FUCKING QUOTE, IT’S A “DATE.”  
CG: AND I KNOW THAT I DON’T ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND FUCKING HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS, BUT THAT WORD HAS RED INCLINATIONS DOESN’T IT?   
CG: THAT ISN’T TO SAY THAT HE ISN’T MODERATELY ATTRACTIVE, EVEN BY ALTERNIA STANDARDS, BUT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE URGENCY. WE HAVE ONLY HAD ONE CONVERSATION AND NOW I CAN’T GET HIM OUT OF MY THINK PAN.  
TA: dont fliip your 2hiit about thii2.   
TA: ii thiink he ju2t want2 two 2ee you.   
CG: WHY DO YOU THINK I’M FLIPPING MY SHIT?  
TA: becau2e you fliip your 2hiit about everythiing.  
CG: I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER HAD A CONVERSATION WITH ONE OF THEM?   
TA: no kk, iive been tryiing two talk two aradiia. ii 2tiil havent been able two get iin contact wiith her.  
TA: why dont you a2k terezii about thiis? ii thiink 2he ha2 talked two 2ome of them.   
CG: GEEZ MAN, I’M SORRY. I MEAN, I KNOW SHE’S HERE. WE’RE ALL PRETTY SURE SHE’S MADE IT OFF PLANET SAFELY. IT HAS ONLY BEEN LIKE A MONTH AND A HALF? TWO MONTHS?   
CG: I’LL HELP YOU FIND HER IF YOU WANT ME TO. I DON’T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO, BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER.   
CG: SHE’S OUR FRIEND AND I’M SURE SHE MISSES YOU TOO.   
TA: look kk, ii appreciiate your offer and ii miight take you up on iit, but look ii dont thiink anythiing i2 goiing two happen between you and the human dude. no rea2on two fliip your 2hitt. a2k terezii about iit.   
CG: ALRIGHT MAN, THANKS ANYWAY.   


twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG] 

Things with Terezi haven’t been the same. Not just since leaving planet, but after an awkward “almost” moment. He had feelings for her, sure, but they were a lot more intense than her feelings for him leaving them in an awkward situation. They hadn't spoken much since leaving Alternia, but they’ve been doing okay. He shouldn’t feel so awkward messaging her, but considering the awkward (possibly red) contents of his issues, he decided to play it safe and be as “vague as possible.” Something that he clearly is great at.

carcinoGeneticist [CG]  began pestering  gallowsCalibrator [GC] 

CG: TEREZI. SOLLUX TOLD ME YOU’VE TALKED TO “SOME HUMANS”?   
GC: Y34H WH4T 4BOUT 1T?   
CG: WHAT ARE THEY LIKE? I CONVERSED WITH ONE TODAY AND DO NOT ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND THEIR ADVANCES.   
GC: 4DV4NC3S?   
GC: WH4T SORT OF 4DV4NC3S 4R3 H4PP3N1NG?   
CG: REALLY?   
CG: NOTHING BUT SOME GOOD OL’ FASHIONED HUMAN FRIENDSHIP OF COURSE. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH THEM. I’M NOT FAMILIAR.   
GC: GOD D4MN STOP B31NG SUCH 4 W1GGL3R K4RK4T  
GC: W3 R34LLY 4R3NT TH4T D1FF3R3NT  
GC: TH3YR3 JUST L1TTL3 FL3SHY TH1NGS   
GC: TH3Y SM3LL R34LLY N1C3  
GC: W3LL SOM3 OF TH3M   
CG: TEREZI. I DON’T THINK IT IS FUCKING TYPICAL HUMAN CULTURE TO GO AROUND FUCKING SNIFFING AND LICKING PEOPLE.   
CG: PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVEN’T BEEN FUCKING DOING THAT.   
GC: 1 H4V3NT B33N L1CK1NG TH3M BUT HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?   
GC: YOU 4R3 TH3 ON3 WHO C4M3 TO M3 FOR HUM4N 4DV1C3   
CG: I GUESS YOU HAVE A POINT THERE.   
GC: 1 4LW4YS DO   
GC: 4NYW4Y 4BOUT TH3 HUM4NS.   
GC: 1 H4V3 T4LK3D TO 4 F3W OF TH3M   
GC: W3LL, R34LLY ONLY L1K3 TWO OF TH3M  
GC: TH3 ON3...W3LL...H3 W4S V3RY CONFUS3D 4BOUT M3 “T4ST1NG WH4T 1S H4PP3N1NG”   
GC: BUT H3 W4S…. 1NT3R3ST1NG TO S4Y TH3 L34ST  
GC: WHY 4R3 YOU 4SK1NG M3   
GC: OUTS1D3 OF TH3 C4F3 1 DONT M3SS W1TH TH3M 1 H4V3 NO R34SON TO   
CG: WELL, I’VE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME AT THE HONEYTONGUE.   
GC: 1 4M 4W4R3 1T 1S MY PL4C3   
CG: TEREZI. OH MY FUCK LET ME TALK.   
GC: W4H W4H W444444444HHH   
CG: I MET THIS HUMAN.   
CG: AND I’VE BEEN DRAWING AND PAINTING HIM, LONG STORY SHORT:   
CG: I GUESS HE CAUGHT ME PAINTING HIM.   
CG: HE DIDN’T SEEM UPSET WHEN HE FIGURED IT OUT AFTER A COUPLE DAYS OF ME DOING IT. BUT NOW HE WANTS TO MEET UP TOMORROW AND TALK AND JUST LET ME FUCKING DRAW HIM.   
GC: 1 4M F41L1NG TO S33 TH3 PROBL3M   
GC: BUT TH3N 4G41N 1 C4NT S33 4NYTH1NG   
CG: WHEN HE WAS DONE MAKING THE ARRANGEMENT TO MEET HE CALLED IT A DATE.   
CG: AND I’M NOT ENTIRELY SURE ON THE USAGE OF THE WORD IN HUMAN CULTURE EXACTLY, BUT I MEAN THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS.   
CG: THAT IS A RED WORD.   
CG: ALTHOUGH WE’VE ONLY JUST MET HE IS ALREADY USING THIS LANGUAGE. AND I MEAN HE IS ATTRACTIVE, I GUESS, BUT HE IS ALSO SEEMINGLY A COCKY MOTHERFUCKER AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE MEANS BY THE CONCEPT OF THIS “DATE” THAT HE IS SUGGESTING.   
GC: 1 TH1NK H3 JUST W4NTS TO M33T W1TH YOU   
GC: SORRY TO D1S4PPO1NT BUT 1F TH1NGS 3ND UP CH4NG1NG L3T M3 KNOW   
GC: 1 DONT R34LLY UND3RST4ND 1T   
CG: THANKS TEREZI. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.   
CG: IT ISN’T A DISAPPOINTMENT.   
GC: GL4D 1 COULD H3LP BUT 1 R34LLY N33D TO G3T TO SL33P   
GC: GOODN1GHT K4RK4T   


gallowsCalibrator [GC]  ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]   


He wasn’t going to sleep tonight, and he could feel it. He moved into his respiteblock anyway. Karkat was not in any way going to let these inclinations mean anything other than the human concept of friendship. Plus, it might be a good learning experience for him. He’d been trying to sell his art online so he could find a place of his own where he isn’t sharing a building with some trolls he’d rather not be regularly seeing (Vriska, for one). It wasn’t easy though. Troll social media differed from the human form in many ways. Not only are the websites themselves different (obviously), but marketing tactics as well. Making money wasn’t a thing that trolls did on Alternia, you just kinda got taken care of by your lusus, but it was here on Earth. So, it was something that had to be done. Terezi somehow was basically emotionally adopted by this old woman that owned the ‘Honeytongue.’ Apparently she had no "family" to give it to and most of her staff was new. Their bond ended up with Terezi owning what is now Honeytongue. (Not the profession Karkat necessarily saw Terezi having on Earth...but he guessed that didn't matter). The senior staff takes care of most of the business, honestly, but Terezi being a business owner has been really helpful with human prejudice. Her employees loved her, and she started ensuring there was something troll friendly for consumption. She was well-liked, and well, Karkat wasn’t. I MEAN, YOU’RE A LITERAL TROLL THAT TYPES IN ALL CAPS ON THE INTERNET. AHHAHA DID I *REALLY* THINK THAT WAS GOING TO END WELL? FUCK, I’M AN IDIOT.

Karkat headed to his meal block and grabbed a slice of grubloaf. The last time he let himself get anxious on an empty stomach, it decided to empty itself for him. It wasn’t pleasant. He decided to settle into his couch with his loaf and his drawing tablet, and tried to remember Dave’s face. He needed something to draw, at least for a warmup, and since tomorrow would be full of nothing but drawing Dave….

Karkat’s inner thoughts!   


I SERIOUSLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY HE NEEDS TO WEAR THOSE SUNGLASSES ALL THE TIME.   


LIKE I’VE SEEN OTHER HUMANS. NOBODY WEARS THOSE THINGS INSIDE. IT WOULD MAKE DETAILING ON HIM SO MUCH EASIER IF I COULD JUST GET HIS EYES IN FRAME.   


I CAN’T SEE EYES OR HIS EYEBROWS.   


WHICH FUCKING SUCKS, BECAUSE IT MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE TO DETAIL ANY EMOTION. I KNOW HE HAS FRECKLES, I BET HE HAS MORE UNDERNEATH THOSE FUCKING SHADES.   


HE HAS SUCH A SHARP JAW, HE *BLUSHES* UNDER HIS SHADES SOMETIMES. I’VE SEEN IT. WHEN HE WAS SITTING AT HIS HUSKTOP. TYPING SOMETHING ON HIS SCREEN AND GETTING VERY INVOLVED WITH IT.   


I HAVEN’T PAID TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO HUMAN EYE COLOR, BUT I CAN TELL IT MUST BE A MUCH DIFFERENT PROCESS FOR TROLLS. HUMANS SHARE A BLOOD COLOR, AND I HAVE YET TO SEE A HUMAN WITH RED EYES.   


AND I WOULD BET THAT SMOOTH PILE OF SHIT PROBABLY HAS VERY FLATTERING EYES AS WELL. BUT IT’S ALL JUST A RUSE!  


HE COVERS UP SO MUCH OF HIMSELF, BUT HE JUST ENDS UP REVEALING SO MANY THINGS TO ME SOMEHOW.   


...MAYBE THIS IS WHAT HE MEANT WHEN HE WAS TALKING ABOUT MUSES.   


Karkat looked down at his creation, and he was proud. It was a drawing of Dave, of course. He was dressed head to toe in red, with his cheeks flushed as well. He was floating, almost, perched upon a stool leaning over to type on his husktop (or do they call them ‘lap’ tops? Karkat couldn't remember.). His ash-blonde hair had an almost bedhead appearance about it. Karkat drew some kind of orange mask that hid his mouth. (A concept he was drawn to, for no particular reason. It did end up looking rather fascinating.) At this point, he’d warmed up and he’d gotten some food in. He headed to his respiteblock and decided to set an alarm from 6:30 A.M. It was currently 4:49 A.M. Some sleep is better than no sleep at all, he decides, and crawled into his recuperacoon to attempt to get some rest.

turntechGodhead [TG]  began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
TG: hey bro   
TG: i know its like six in the a m   
TG: but to be honest with you bro ive been up since five  
\--- carcinoGeneticist [CG] is an idle chum! ---   
TG: ok cool your not up yet   
TG: but to be honest uh   
TG: i dont think im gonna be able to like   
TG: fall back asleep   
TG: ok its six twenty now   
TG: im gonna hop in the shower   
TG: gotta make sure im fresh n fuckin clean for you   
TG: absolutely fucking spotless   
TG: cant be fuckin hostin a goddamn speck of dirt on myself   
TG: gotta be all nice like a fuckin angel or some shit   
TG: anyway   


Karkat jolted awake, almost scared from the sound of his alarm going off. He gets out of his recuperacoon and grabs his phone off the desk. Over ten missed messages: all from Dave.

CG: DAVE?   
\--- turntechGodhead [TG]  is now an idle chum! ---  
CG: ARE YOU OKAY DUDE?   
CG: I HARDLY SLEPT EITHER, BUT TROLLS ARE NOCTURNAL AND I’VE BEEN TRYING TO ADJUST.   
CG: I’M GOING TO HONEYTONGUE.   
CG: I’LL MEET YOU THERE WHEN THEY OPEN, I GUESS.   
TG: hey man   
TG: doesn’t some troll chick own that place now  
TG: it used to be called melody’s but then the ol lady closed down shop   
CG: YES. I KNOW THE OWNER. HOW DO YOU THINK I MANAGE TO GET IN THERE BEFORE OPEN EVERY DAY?   
TG: woah man   
TG: youre in there before open every day?   
CG: DAVE. YOU GET THERE LIKE TWO MINUTES AFTER THE SHOP OPENS AND I AM ALREADY SERVED AND SEATED.   
CG: IT JUST WOULDN’T FUCKING MAKE ANY SENSE IF I WENT IN THERE THE SECOND THEY OPENED, I WOULDN’T BE SETTLED ALREADY.   
CG: FUCK MAN USE YOUR THINKPAN.   
TG: thinkpan?   
TG: is that like troll for brain or something?   
TG: im really gonna like learnin all this shit from you dog   
TG: i guess youre already on your way over   
TG: im about to head out too   
TG: hold up my bros awake   
CG: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?   
CG: ALSO WHAT IS A ‘BRO’?   
CG: DAVE?   
\---  turntechGodhead [TG]  is an idle chum! ---  
CG: IT HAS BEEN TEN MINUTES SINCE YOU NORMALLY GET HERE, EVERTHING GOING OKAY?   


Karkat spent those ten minutes sitting on a short couch setting things up expecting Dave to show up any second. Totally wasn’t panicking the entire time about if his breath smelled or if he brushed his hair correctly by any means. Absolutely not. Could not even begin to be a reality. After the first five minutes passed Karkat started to get upset that he was getting blown off, but now he’s beginning to worry. He didn’t think he had a reason to until Dave walked into Honeytongue. Dave’s hair was disheveled, as well as his clothing. He looked like he had just gotten into a fight, but that couldn’t even be possible. (Humans were not inherently violent creatures, Karkat had learned very early on.) He stopped messaging about twenty minutes ago. He was wearing a black long sleeve under his white t-shirt and simply sat next to Karkat. He heard Dave wince as he sat down, but he didn’t say anything. Dave tried to claim that there was some sort of accident involving “flighty broads” and some fake blood, but Karkat wasn’t exactly receptive to that idea. He refused to ask questions, though and was just glad that Dave had gotten to the cafe at all. Karkat looked at Dave, and they sat in the quiet for a long while. Another few minutes passed by without any real communication between the two of them. There was a clear elephant in the room, and Dave broke the silence.

“You know, I can kinda tell when someone doesn’t believe me. That’s fine, you don’t have to, but we didn’t come here to have some kind of fuckin’ free for all feelings jam session where we go into a ‘What is Dave’s Problem!’ segment. I wanted to come here and talk to you and get drawn by someone who can do it pretty damn well. Are you okay with that?” Dave’s tone was shaky and out of breath and Karkat was overcome with pity. 

“Of course, Dave, just give me a minute to get set up.”

Both of them left the Honeytongue that evening at Terezi’s explicit request, after spending over 12 hours inside of the shop, and had plans for the next day set as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while im in this phase of writing kinda chapter by chapter, im gonna try to end all of them on a kinda "conclusion" so that i dont end up making anyone upset if i don't end up finishing the fic. but i got some BIG PLANS for this fic do not even doubt it. 
> 
> also if im like doing anything violent wrong please let me know, to be completely honest i wrote the end of this and edited it while really drunk
> 
> EDIT: new chapter should be out before the New Year, give me until the second at max, but I'm planning on having it done today (12/29) but I might want to edit it a little more, so I'm not sure the time span. It's pretty dialogue-based and I can see this being the longest chapter so far.


	3. 'What Is Dave's Problem' segment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! Ik this took forever nd im so sorry but its the longest chapter and i didn't use any pesterlogs! more dave angst i guess. i have long nails so this has been hell to type
> 
> more notes @ the end. happy new year!
> 
> [hi as of 1.15.20 this has been edited for tense clarity! jesus christ im about to start writing the next chapter and i better figure out how to write correctly fast or some shit]

“Sorry I’m late, I had to deal with bitches. Some real bitches Karkitty. The flightiest of broads. You wouldn’t even be capable of understanding the amount of flightiness these broads were supplying. Then once they’d been dealt with I uh, I got so fuckin pissed I knocked my entire container of fake blood on top of myself. It kinda more just fell off of my dresser. Anyway, I had to shower and change all the fuck over again.” Dave said, as calmly as he could manage. He studied Karkat’s expression behind his shades, hoping he believed that he just had some totally normal human experience. Karkat sat there and just looked Dave over. Dave really could not deal with spilling his entire tragic backstory to anyone, especially someone that he’s just met, but he knew Karkat didn’t believe him. So he spoke.

“You know, I can kinda tell when someone doesn’t believe me. That’s fine, you don’t have to, but we didn’t come here to have some kind of fuckin’ free for all feelings jam session where we go into a ‘What is Dave’s Problem!’ segment. I wanted to come here and talk to you and get drawn by someone who can do it pretty damn well. Are you okay with that?” Dave’s tone was shaky and out of breath, and he hardly kept himself together. He was so afraid that he had just spewed all of his issues over Karkat; that he was just going to be judged by someone who hardly knows him.

“Of course, Dave, just give me a minute to set up.” Karkat said in a kind tone. He understood, Dave assumed, that he shouldn’t push. He was thankful, eventually striking poses that made Karkat almost giggle. It made his chest warm, a feeling he wasn’t really familiar with. They stayed in Honeytongue for about 20 minutes past closing, after a troll named Terezi told them to get out. (Of course, after saying that Dave smelled amazing and that she wanted to lick him. Karkat had assured him this was normal.)

“Hey, can I walk you back to your place?” Dave offered, trying to prolong his time out of the apartment. He wasn’t quite ready to go back home tonight. Not after the strife he had this morning.

“I mean if you want to. I live really close by.”

Dave: Ruin the moment.

“But of course. Can’t have enough of me, can you? Just waiting and hoping for a chance to get Strider over here in your place. What’s next, we’re gonna go try out how bouncy your bed is? Get me all under your sheets and shit? Sounds like some seriously raunchy shit man.” Perfect.

“Dave, I don’t even use the bed I was given. I didn’t even fucking know what one was until I got to earth. I had my sleeping apparatus with me when I went off-planet. I don’t see why I would debase myself into using your primitive earth sleep technology. Also, something seems to be a common theme here. Why do you take any opportunity to hit on me? Are you pushing some kind of feelings onto me, Strider?

Fuck. Dave was totally Not Gay, but that didn’t change the way being with Karkat made him feel. Sure, it started out practically stalking him for Rose’s entertainment, but it felt like it was bigger than that. Gotta play it cool, though, there wasn’t much more he could do right now.

“Oh, come on man. Act like you ain’t got the hots for me. Spendin’ hours making sure you get the curvature of my cheek right on the paper. It’s all fuckin romantic in the air, walking home on a nice warm summer night.”

Karkat let out a frustrated sigh as they approached his ‘hive.’ They stopped outside the door and looked at each other for a moment. The way the moonlight glazed over Karkat’s face almost made Dave want to kiss him, but just in time Karkat turned around and stuck his keys in the door. Dave was about to turn back to go home himself, but Karkat caught his attention.

“Do you want to fucking come inside? I mean, I know it is ‘late’ or whatever, but I figured I’d ask. You’re clearly the one who can’t get enough of me, and it would be just so fucking cruel if I denied you of my company. See, that’s what you sound like. God, why do I deal with you?” Karkat threw his hands up in the hair and walked into his apartment with a huff. He left the door open for Dave, and he decided to enter.

Dave watched as Karkat sat his bag and sketchbook down on his kitchen counter and opened his fridge. It was not well stocked, a few drinks here and there with maybe five food items in his fridge. Dave quietly hoped he had more food in his pantry. Not that there was much of anything left for him to eat at the apartment, but he knew other people kept more food in their fridges than this. (Dave discovered this from watching television.) He watched as Karkat went onto the top of his toes to reach up to the top shelf and grabbed a jug of water. He finally turned and shut the door behind him, the noise made Karkat jump and spill some water on the floor.

“Oh, fucking great, I cannot fucking believe this. Can we go one day speaking to one another without some sort of spill happening? I think the fuck not. This one was your fault this time, entirely, and now you’re out of offers to give me. Can’t pay me back, this isn’t some kind of Honeytongue coffee, this is my water. Get over here.” Karkat’s tone was almost indiscernible to Dave. He could hardly tell if he was frustrated or if he was joking. Dave listened and came to Karkat’s side when he felt a towel hit his chest.

“Help me clean this up. Do you want anything to drink?” Karkat visibly relaxed, and Dave asked the most important question of all time.

“Well do you have any AJ?”

“What’s AJ?

“Fuck Karkat! That’s a critical fuckin’ hit. I am bleeding the fuck out over here. Holy shit. You don’t know what AJ is dude? What kind of place did you even come from? AJ is the sacred juice that goes through all of existence dude. AJ is the love of my life, and you don’t even know what it is?” Dave dramatically collapsed to the floor. This is the performance of a lifetime.

“Dave. Get up.” Karkat reached his hand down to help Dave off the floor. Dave accepted his hand and felt his face get hot. Despite Karkat’s hand, there was still water on the floor. Water that Dave should have cleaned, but didn’t. Dave slipped and pulled Karkat on top of him.  holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck oh fuck oh shit.

“Dave. What the fuck! Are you serious? Can you even fucking manage to-” Karkat stopped yelling when he saw Dave’s face. Pain. He was clenching his side, trying to get back on his feet as quickly as possible. Karkat grabbed his hand and helped him up slowly, putting him at one of the seats at the bar area of the kitchen. “Are you okay?”

Dave quickly sat up straight and removed his hand from covering his side, straightened his t-shirt over his undershirt, and gave Karkat a small nod. He watched as Karkat cleaned the slip hazard off of the floor, and he looked in his fridge.

“Well, there was some typical human food here when I got this living arrangement. Let me check.” He rustled around in the back of the fridge and pulled forward some bottles. “I have something called orange juice, apple juice… Oh! and some milk.”

“Apple juice. That is AJ, my man. The most beautiful sweet delectable creation on this whole planet. You can bet your sweet ass I would like a cup of that shit.” Dave laughed and relaxed into his seat.

Karkat joined him shortly and guided him into the living room. Dave sat and watched Karkat grab his laptop and some sort of drawing pad. He walked back into the living room and Dave couldn’t help but watch him. He was short, this was obvious to everyone around him, but he carried himself well. Slightly anxious and always fidgeting, but he still contained himself. His gray skin well covered by long-sleeved sweaters and pants. He had taken his shoes off at the door, and Dave was less than surprised to see he had black socks on as well.

Karkat popped a movie on the TV and sat and started drawing, clearly just relaxing after a long day. It would be horrible if Dave took this sweet moment into making fun of Karkat for his choice of cinema. Absolutely terrible, he would never do such a thing. He wouldn’t piss off someone who just let him into his home. Of course not. Dave was going to behave like a civilized friend, not a petulant little boy pulling on a girl’s pigtails because he has a crush on her. Dave would never do such a thing.

“Love Actually… Karkat, are you seriously into chick flicks? This is the worst shit ever. I can’t believe I’m sitting here being put under this torture. I can’t believe this.” Dave spoke, clearly violating the agreement that was made in the previous paragraph.

“Yes! I love this! Inviting someone into my hive and they make the decision to reprimand me the entire time! Of course! Let’s just do this shit until I’m fucking culled.” Karkat sat his drawing pad on the table and walked behind his couch into the kitchen.

Dave felt a wave of guilt come over him. He didn’t think he would actually offend Karkat, but it was getting late. He was probably overstaying his welcome already, which he knew. To be rude on top of that? Not a good mixture.

“Karkat,” Dave craned his upper body around the back of the couch to face Karkat, “Look I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t be so rude to you. I don’t really mean it.” Dave paused. “I’m really sorry.” He turned back to face the television. He thought for a moment that he should just leave and never talk to Karkat again. Until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Dave,” Karkat sighed. “Are you crying?

Dave touched his face right under his shades, dry. Then he heard his breathing: hard and gasping for air. He took a deep breath and shook his head. Karkat was already sitting next to him, shushing him and stroking his hair.

“Thank you…” Dave said. He didn’t know how to feel about any of what just happened. But he knew that if he wasn’t home soon there might be some issues with Bro. He wasn’t sure how to handle that issue. Sometimes the issue was if Dave was home, sometimes it was if he wasn’t. Figuring out what would set off the trigger for that day had always been a challenge for him. After this morning, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk anything.

“It’s no problem. Would you like to sleep here? Uh, I mean, it just seems like you might want some time to calm down, and I don’t think you want to walk home when it’s dark out.”

Dave declined but decided to stay for a few more hours. Talking to Karkat about his digital art, and helping him tailor himself more towards a human appeal. He set him up with a PayPal account and helped upload some photos for him that were captioned appropriately.  watermarked. dude, you can’t let people steal your art. come ‘ere, let me help ya.

Dave explained furries to Karkat, which made him very uncomfortable. Dave then explained how they’re likely going to be the main source of Karkat’s commissions, but then told him that he should feel free to decline to do things that make him uncomfortable. (Karkat pointed out that money was money, and Dave agreed with him) They talked for a bit longer about Karkat’s art, not without more of Dave’s half-flirty comments, but Dave checked his phone and saw it was past midnight.

“Hey man, I should probably head out. It’s getting pretty late and…” Dave thought of what to say next: that Bro needed him home, that he had somewhere to go in the morning, (Dave had nowhere to go, he got laid off a few months ago and hadn’t been able to find a new job since) something other than the anxiety he was almost tired enough to spill.

“Are you sure you want to be out this late? I’ve been paying as much attention to the human things that happen around me, and someone like you would have as high of a chance getting culled walking around at night as I would’ve had during the daytime on Alternia. For reference, that is a fucking 100% definite death.” Karkat scratched the back of his neck nervously, for good reason. Jumpings and murders have been getting pretty bad, especially in the evening. Dave lived in the path of most of the violence. With his current shape, Dave was certainly in no position to fight back against someone trying to hurt him. That thought made him realize his only option.

“I mean, since you’re so worried about me, I guess that I can stay here for the night.”

“What do you actually sleep in? Isn’t it called a bed? It’s a bed...right? I know we just talked about this earlier but I can remember.” Karkat asked, prompting a small chuckle from Dave. In reaction to that, Dave could’ve sworn he saw a slight red blush flush Karkat’s cheeks. He let him off the hook.

“Yeah, they’re called beds. I mean, that’s probably in your like private area. I’m fine sleeping right here on the couch.”

“Do you need anything to, like, sleep with? Uhhh,” Karkat ran his hand through his dark messy curls. “I mean pillows and blankets?” He didn’t quite sound like he knew he was using the right words or not.

“If you’re wondering if you got it right, you did man. Pillows and blankets. Fucking A+ dude. Excellent. I mean, if you have any spare ones I wouldn’t be opposed. But you’ve got couch pillows right here, so I can probably just use one of these.” Dave took this moment to realize that he’s having his first sleepover. If he left for the night, he’d typically set up a high hammock in the park, and wake up before the sun was out.

Karkat got up and held up a finger to Dave, and walked into what Dave assumed was Karkat’s bedroom. Dave realized the loss of warmth against his thigh and felt his face get hot seeing how close he was sitting to the other boy. Karkat re-entered with a comforter and dropped it into Dave’s lap.

“Thank you.” Dave said, and he meant it. He stood and placed the comforter underneath him, and sat on top of it.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to get under that thing?”

Shit. Dave did what he did at home: preparing to be woken up at a moment's notice, instead of sleeping safely at a friend's house. The King of Deflection (and repression) did as follows.

“I was just seeing if you wanted to still hang out for a little bit. I wasn’t immediately trying to snooze on you there bro.” Perfect.

“Oh, I figured you were tired which is why you mentioned the time. It’s not like I have anything to do tomorrow. Anyways, trolls are mostly nocturnal. I’m the one who would be keeping you awake in this scenario.”

“I mean, as a human, I am supposed to get around 8-9 hours of sleep a night for my age or something. In reality, I probably get around 5-6. Not like any of it matters anyway. How much sleep are you guys supposed to get for your age?”

“I’m eight, so-” Karkat was abruptly cut off by Dave.

“Hold on a fucking minute, the government is letting eight-year-olds live all fucking by themselves?”

“Dave. I am eight sweeps old, not eight ‘years’ old. Terezi told me we’re about eighteen or nineteen earth years.” Dave seriously relaxed. Like this dude let out the deepest breath possible. “Do you feel better now?” Dave nodded his head. Good god, of course, he would think he was hitting on someone eight years old. Of course now to make up from the embarrassment, Dave had to make things awkward and distract from the situation entirely..

“Are you and Terezi like, together, or something? Is she your girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend? What’s a girlfriend? Is that like the human term for like a moirail or something?” Karkat and Dave are now equally confused.

“Okay, first of all, what is a moirail? I mean like do you guys kiss or...” Dave realized Karkat had completely stopped listening after his first sentence.

“Dave, are you not familiar with the quadrant system?” Dave shook his head. “Of course not, humans have different approaches to the types of romance I get. Now you see there are four types of troll romance divided into four quadrants. Flushed, caliginous, pale, and ashen. The flushed quadrant is red romance, those are called matesprits. It’s overall a very positive type of relationship and one that is important to reproduction. Caliginous is black romance, one’s black romance partner would be called a kismesis. I would guess that the easiest way to explain this would be one’s fated enemy. It is someone who infuriates you, but still has qualities that you admire. This is another relationship important to reproduction. On the other side of that, there is the pale quadrant and pale romance. That is moirallegiance, where you get moirail from. This is completely platonic and is essentially your other half. You are both meant to balance each other out. Then there is the ashen quadrant. There is an auspistice used to stabilize a blackrom relationship, typically ones going through quadrant vacillation, from getting too harmful. Oh, how could I forget, you probably don’t know what vacillation is.” Karkat took a breath, and Dave took his shot.

“Karkat, bro, give me a minute. You’re like, fucking, floodin’ me with information right now. Give me a second to process.” Dave paused for a few moments. “Okay, so humans have one form of romance. Which I guess would be your flushed red thing? Like if Terezi was your matesprit, she’d be your girlfriend in human terms. Not your moirail or whatever.”

“Oh wait, you think something’s going on between Terezi and I? No, no, no. We aren’t together. To be honest, we used to be involved. In the end, she was waxing pale for me and I was completely flushed and just made a total fool of myself. Things have calmed down since then. We’re just friends now. I think she has something pale going on with Vriska, but you didn’t hear it from me.”

“Oh alright, dude. Sorry if I brought up some shit you didn’t wanna tell me.”

“It’s okay. It’s over now. Kinda funny thinking we arranged to meet tomorrow morning and now you’re staying over my hive.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” There was a dip, a pause in the conversation where he could’ve easily said he was ready to go to bed and ended the conversation there. Dave hoped it wouldn’t though. He hoped Karkat had something more to say.

“Do you guys seriously only have one kind of romance? How does that even work?”

“I mean, that’s just how things are. I can’t really see it another way honestly, I’ve felt like that for as long as I can know. I mean, we have different sexualities and stuff.” Karkat shot Dave a questioning look, so Dave continued explaining. “There’s like, straight. Boys like girls and vice versa. Then there’s gay. Boys who like boys and girls who like girls. Shit like that.”

“Is that all that there is? Trolls are nothing like that.” Karkat’s voice showed an unusual concern.

“Not really. There’s like bisexual which is liking boys and girls, and pansexual which means that you’re kinda gender blind I guess. I’m not too sure on that one.”

“I’d say trolls are probably more on the pansexual spectrum out of any of those.”

“That’s rough. I mean, here on earth people aren’t especially friendly to queer folk.” Dave tried to explain. “Like for a really long time, men couldn’t date each other because they’d be killed or it was just illegal. Not to mention homophobic people.”

“What’s homophobic? I mean you’re an alien species. There isn’t much more we could do to not be accepted here. It’s not like people are going to be welcoming overnight. I’m just glad that I’m alive.”

“I mean, people just hate gay people and that’s called homophobia. Either because of religion as an excuse or… whatever else they use to justify their behavior. It’s all kinds of fucked up.”

“I can see that. I mean, it’s not like I came from somewhere kind and accepting. We just had a completely different fucking set of risks that came along with trying to fucking survive. What’s your sexuality then, Dave? I figure the amount of redrom advances you have made towards me would imply-”

“Man, oh geez. I’m like, totally 100% straight. Heterosexual. Nothin’ short of it.” Dave lied. Typically, Dave was a good liar, but he felt a blush creep upon his cheeks.

For some reason, Karkat seemed very surprised to see Dave’s red blush, and Dave noticed. Karkat grabbed Dave’s empty glass and went into the kitchen with it. Dave assumed he had hurt Karkat’s feelings by (lying and) saying he was straight. He looked back at Karkat and went to speak to him, his lack of sleep removing his filter until he realized Karkat was refilling his glass.

“Back on my home planet, Alternia, we had the hemospectrum. Different blood colors ranked in society. My blood color, fucking candy red, was a mutation. It was not recorded on the hemospectrum, which basically meant I spent my entire life working hard on making sure I didn’t get killed by walking outside by myself. Now it’s all just, here. Seeing your candy red blush brought me back to remembering all of the hoofbeast shit that I was forced to deal with back home. Like it was nothing.” Karkat’s voice waved as he spoke, sending chills down Dave’s spine. He was almost disappointed that this was not caused by a feeling of unrequited attraction, almost.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say right now.” It was at this moment that Dave realized how similar they were. How similar his experience with his brother was. He just had to decide if he was going to open up. “I can’t say I understand all the blood color nonsense, but I’m just gonna tell you right now that you’re not alone man.”

“Thank you, D-”

“Karkat, I lied. Earlier. I’m not straight. It’s been, more recent. At least completely realizing it. I guess I’m probably bisexual or something, but I don’t know. I don’t think I need to know right now, but I guess I have to tell somebody” Dave’s speech was frantic and the words spilled out of his mouth before he even realized what he was saying. Sleep deprivation sure can be a bitch of a truth serum. 

“So, you like boys?”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Dave placed his hand over Karkat’s knee and the two smiled warmly at one another until Karkat coughed and pulled away.

“It’s almost 3 in the morning. I am forcing you to go to sleep. I’ll be out sometime early in the morning. The room with the load gaper is the door next to mine.”

“What the hell is a load gaper?” Dave chuckled.

“Where you go to cleanse your filthy body and produce waste. What do you call it?”

“A bathroom. Goodnight Karkat.”

“Goodnight Dave.”

Dave settled under the blanket he’d been given, took off his shades, and slowly drifted off to sleep, feeling truly safe for the first time he could remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow dave nice job on the whole "im straight jk BOY I LIKE I AM GAY HI I LIKE BOYS" idk im trying! leave a comment and a kudos <3 they really keep me going! <3


End file.
